8 February 2002
Today’s the second day in a row that I’ve had strange dreams about my grandparents and have woken up half out of breath.  Night before last, I dreamt that my great grandfather, Betro, was alive and no one had even told me.  He had been in some sort of hospital or nursing home or something because he had something wrong with his lip.  Lip?  Yes, I know, but I have no idea why that, either.  Dreams don’t always make sense, either.  In the dream, I was so pissed off at my family for having not told me that he was still alive and I was very happy to meet him.  I think I dreamt about him because I sent pictures of him to Lori to see.

Last night, I dreamed about my Granny Bush. I dreamt that I went to her house and that she let me in but she was really mean to me.  I was talking to her and she was doing some dishes and I kept telling her that I loved her and she would say mean things to me and she was yelling and stuff.  I was standing there trying not to cry, but couldn’t help it and she was even meaner after that.  It was a bad dream…that’s what woke me up.  I guess I had that dream because I was thinking about how I should call the hospital again to see how things are going.  It hurts me so much to know that the woman that she was when I was a kid is most likely gone forever.  It reminds me of my mom, too, but my mom really has gotten better over the past year, a thing that I’m eternally grateful for.  I can actually confide in her and tell her when I’m scared or upset and she listens.  It’s something I’ve not had from her in a very long time and I really appreciate that.