February 26, 1992

If I ever have kids, I would never tell them that "you’re just like your father". My mom tells me that all the time when she gets mad at me. She says one minute that I’m this good, sweet child and the next she tells me how bad I am.  That really brings me down a lot. I really don’t see where I’m all that bad. I don’t do drugs or smoke or anything. I really do believe that I could be a whole lot worse. I just wish she would see the good sometimes. I would never dig in my child’s private things, and that is because my mom does that to me now, and I know how it feels when someone has no respect for your privacy. It makes you feel you have to hide everything just to have the slightest bit of privacy. Also, I would never tell my child who they should be friends with. I believe that kids should choose their friends. If they choose bad friends, then they will learn from their choice. I believe in letting a child have some independence. How would they ever be able to stand on their own when they grow up if you don’t let them go a little at a time. Parents are always so scared to let go, which I guess I can understand that, but you can’t stand off in the background forever, waiting to back them up when they fall down. I really don’t know if I’ll ever even have a child. I just don’t want to screw anybody up as much as my mom has screwed me up. I’m not saying that everything that is wrong in my life is her fault. I know better than that. But, she isn’t the best when it comes to encouragement. I guess if I have kids that I’ll do the best that I can, and when I make a mistake, I’ll try to learn from it.