I went for my first session with my new counsellor (until sometime in April 2008) at the New West/UBC Counselling Centre today. I hadn’t been since sometime in March or April of this year when I was seeing Robb. As always, I was dreading going in and having to meet someone new and re-summarize things that I’ve already put out there with every therapist I’ve seen. But, I guess I’ve gotten better at summing up the big picture – family, background, childhood, relationship and personal demons – and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. The new therapist’s name is Eleanor and I think (tho not sure) that she might actually be gay. She’s a lefty, so that’s cool. She’s actually the one who pointed it out first when I was signing the “yes, I know they videotape me” paperwork again. She sort of reminds me of Ann-Marie MacDonald, just a little more nerdy-looking and thinner. So, I laid it all out on the table and told her that I’d really like to focus on a couple of key issues, rather than running around all over the place and not feeling like any progress is being made on any front.
So, I asked her what she’d like me to do between now and next week and my homework is to think about what I’d like my life to look like in five years. I don’t think that’s hard for me to figure out as I think I already have a good idea. So, here goes:
PERSONAL SITUATION:
– To be able to trust my judgement of a situation without second-guessing myself
– To be able to be confident in making decisions in important areas without worrying that I’ve made the wrong choice
– To be able to set and maintain healthy boundaries in relationships
– To be able to remove myself from relationships which are not a healthy or positive contribution to my life
– To recognize and value my own worth enough to not settle for less than I deserve (in relationships and in life)
– To be able to be content and allow myself to be happy
– To still be exploring new things and learning about things that interest me
– To be able to be more consistent and disciplined
– To lose a few pounds so I’m healthier and more comfortable with my body; healthier eating, less junk food
RELATIONSHIP SITUATION:
– To be in a relationship with a true partner where we share emotionally, financially and intimately
– To be emotionally stable and secure in my relationship so that I can stop feeling jealous or possessive
– To be with a partner who shares similar interests and/or in which we are open to each other’s interests
– To be with a partner who challenges me to learn and grow as a person
– To be a loving, supportive partner in return; to not take on the issues of my partner as my own or feel I need to fix them
– To be with a partner who lets me be vulnerable, but encourages me to be strong
– To be with a partner who is equally committed to the relationship and willing to make equal effort over the long term
– To be able to resolve conflict in the relationship in a healthy way
– To be married
– To seek out adventure together, travel and experience as much of life as possible
DOMESTIC SITUATION:
– To be living in a house of my own (or that I own with a partner) with a yard/garden and a hot tub!
– To have a place that is safe for Ferris and Beauty to go outside
– To live with a partner with whom I share chores and expenses equally (or at least in fair ratio to income for each)
FAMILY SITUATION:
– To do my best to help take care of my mom
– To have a better relationship with my dad
– To visit and stay in touch with my family better
FRIENDS SITUATION:
– To surround myself only with people who add to my life and who treat me with love and respect
CAREER/FINANCIAL SITUATION:
– To have built my business to include staff working with me; to assume a creative director/business development role
– To work for larger clients
– To double + my current income
– To have eliminated my debt and have begun an investment portfolio
Jeez, some of those seem like lofty expectations for five years! 🙂